My dad was also a dad to some of my cousins, because their fathers weren't as present as mine was. My cousins know who their fathers are, and because I have never been in their shoes I can't understand why they want nothing to do with them. It's not for lack of trying on their part, but I think there comes a point when you can keep running after an enigma as you put it. Yes children need security but that isn't only about money. The things I appreciated the most about my dad was the relationship we had. We did things together, he listened when I spoke to him. He got worried and real angry when I came home after dark. He got excited when I passed etc.

I also see it as well with my friends and how they are raising their kids alone. How they need to dry their babies tears because that MAN didn't keep his word again. How the blame game is always played when as parents you should be able to have a civilized conversation about your childs well being. It's unfortunate at the number of times that black women I forced to play the adult in a situation like that. I can fully understand how one can end up bitter, it's hard and unfair. This however doesn't apply to all black men or men in general. I have boys who are absolute gems and are the most awesome fathers ever. Boys need to learn how to be men, its a lesson best taught by another man in my opinion. There are things your mother can never teach you quite like a father figure or a father can. As a woman I learnt from my father what it meant to be protected and loved, even if my dad wasnt as emotionally forthcoming as my mom.

I am so glad that you wrote this piece. The cycle needs to end, all we need is a how.

On the political side of this I cannot ignore the history that we have inherited in this country.Father yes to the mines and leaves mother and child back home who plays the role of the father, the mother.Child grows up and has no reference of what a father or a role of a father is, but he knows that he must leave and go work repeating the fathers actions.

Tradition? fathers do not change nappies, the do not cook they do not prepare school uniforms."its the mothers job"This culture of media showing man in their shirts and matching shoes and their photoshoped hair is all a man can be?
Spirituality:I am not a christian I do not read the bible,I do not even know the scriptures, so I will go with what I know on this one.When we kneel and pray for those of us that Pray you say father in china they say mother.In this case father or mother represents GOD. so if god proves for you in every way even blinks for you wether you know it or not, breathes for you when you are asleep.To me that looks and feels like love.Would it not be better to copy this father?

I am not without faults,I have come to understand that we live in the realm of cause and effects so what you call a sin of our father I see it as an effect caused by our fathers influenced by secumstance.This leads me to accept that I am My fathers son, I own it so that it does not catch me of guard and I make a conscious decision to remember that I am my father but not his action.
I don't tell my kids I love them I show them, when I cook when I bath them,when I brush their hair, when I do home work with them, when I cry in front of them.
While I am here in this realm anything that I posses and experience will always carry with it a blessing and curse. we just have to choose our perspective or point of view.

I AM MY FATHERS SON,HE IS ME.

How will you cause a different effect, that your son or daughter can be proud off.

I apologize if I have offended anyone, I ask for your forgiveness.

That was about the only learn received directly from by Pop's up to that point, and it has allowed us to forge some sort of frank relationship. And that has helped me be a better version of him, because I can drawn from him experience at the stage of his live when he can acknowledge is only short coming! This(relationship) I hope will be the resource that helps me be a better dad!

This is such a sad fact and yet so real.
I hope our generation of males strive to be better than their fathers, for all our future sons and daughters sakes.

I had no problem with the painting - I think the ANC and President have bigger problems to be giving the this painting so much attention.

The following was posted on Facebook by Tselane Tambo - "So the Pres JZ has had his portrait painted and he doesn't like it. Do the poor enjoy poverty? Do the unemployed enjoy hopelessness? Do those who can't get housing enjoy homelessness? He must get over it. No one is having a good time. He should inspire the reverence he craves. This portrait is what he inspired. Shame neh! [sic]"

She makes a good point though, because from the looks of things the only people who are benefiting mostly is people from his circle or family.

@Vus - It is a big problem but where lies the solution?

The genitals aspect of the painting doesn't take a rocket scientist either. Its is intended to be a commentary on his polygamous lifestyle as well as his extra marital affairs (but then again, no one seems to understand that couples normally do have sex before they get married in our times). No one went up in arms when Trevor Noah made the jokes about the President's genitals. Why? This is where your argument makes most sense to me... Its because, first he's black and the jokes ridiculed DA leader Helen Zille and made Zuma appear to be the quintessential black man by implying his manhood was ...well...endowed. All said and done, the painting may indeed have underlying artistic underpinnings giving it more context and explaining this in more detail but the message is clear.

Surprisingly, I am not angry about the painting, I think it says a lot about the Presidency. But I think it is wrong and should be taken down. The Presidency, the ANC or anyone else up in arms shouldn't have to take any action, the gallery should concede that the painting is perhaps not in good taste but then the controversy it has caused has probably put the gallery on a level of its own and gained it a good solid support base.

@jules - Agreed. After all, this is the man that made us all go to gym in high school! Ever noticed how all the singers and rappers have bulked up since him?

@writer chick - Does the interview cover Angie Stone and that part of his life?