STUDIO83

I haven’t worn a single piece of denim in the past two years. Bottoms of choice: leggings as pants, a fashion faux pas I commit constantly. That’s ME in a nutshell: constantly straddling the line between daring and trashy. And my friends are getting pretty sick of the balancing act. So when Studio83 informed me that this week’s theme was “work”, I thought it would be fun to give myself a task and walk down the valley of Denim Doom. Here’s a brief account on five outfits I sported last week, as well as where you might see me in them. And for the love of all that is holy, I might put on some !*#*$&% pants.

1. Studded Denim Vest: My second favorite look of the bunch. I instantly fell in love with this vest. I love both studs and denim, and the combo was irresistible. I paired it with a sparkly dress for an ‘80s look, and can imagine myself wearing this to a Janet Jackson or Prince and the Revolution gig back in the day.

2. Double Denim: My entire family, spearheaded by my sister Amirah, kept calling me “Blossom” in this get-up. I think it was the hat, though, rather than anything else. I love Blossom. She had the ‘90s look down in a big way. This was my favorite outfit because the jeans fit well- the light color flattered my shape, and the slightly darker jacket made everything less matchy-matchy. It looks put together, but at the same time casual. Teamed with a pair of killer heels it’s sexy but doesn’t try too hard.

3. Denim Jumpsuit: This looked totally ridiculous on the hanger, but when I put it on, it felt kind of good, like I was a lost member of New Kids on the Block. It had a flattering shape and was a real statement piece. I’d wear it to a party to freak people out.

4. Denim Overalls: Hello, my name is Simone, and I work on a farm. I only pretend to be a columnist- all I do is milk cows. And I can make a mean hay mountain given the right pitchfork. This was not a great look for me. I was also dangerously close to camel-toe country. Scary.

5. Denim Hotpants: Hot pants are hard to pull off, so I was afraid of this ensemble. But a high waist is always great for my body type. And because the shorts were made of the softest denim imaginable, they didn’t cling to my thighs, so I avoided the dreaded “sausage leg” effect. I paired them with a plaid shirt for a grunge vibe, and the studded leather jacket dresses it up a bit while giving it an edge.

X

Simone