Selfishness. I’d like to add it to the list of virtues. I propose that we desist from shunning it, discouraging it and judging those in the practice. It’s quite hard to be selfish. It’s so much easier to please everyone, even those who are not trying to please you. So, here’s to the hard decision of putting yourself in first, second, and third place. Here’s to only having your interests on the to-do-list. To fiercely and unconditionally pursuing the things that make you happy and. to demand better for yourself. Shamelessly.
I’m not championing corruption or sinister behaviour. I’m championing showing up for myself. Showing up for yourself. Exclusively.
I’ve persecuted myself for being at places I didn't want to be because I wanted to please someone who didn’t truly care for my presence “oh you made it…blah blah…see you later” they’d say and I’d die a little inside, screaming “pay attention to me, I cancelled everything to be here.” I’ve agonised my nights over not doing something for people who never did anything for me, and never would. I’ve dramad my soul trying to please bosses, colleagues, friends, even family members, when they could have dealt with a firm and considered “no I won’t.”
A friend once said something to the effect of “it’s for me. It’s not anti you” and changed my life. Fundamentally that’s it; being selfish need not mean inconsiderate or even in competition. The pursuit of the things we want does sometimes require competition, but the pursuit of our next step is a right we all deserve to fight for fiercely and selfishly. It’s time to put the one first.
*That’s what she said. TM Photographer: Sfiso Sibanyoni