STUDIO83

A little while back I made the audacious statement that women are clinically insane and men are emotionally retarded. I’m sure there are modern men and women who would protest to this but we all know what my dear friend, Shakespeare, had to say about protestors.

While some might be grotesquely foaming at the mouth because of my statement please entertain my jibber-jabber for a few minutes before you crucify my tongue.

I must begin by saying that the statement is based on the sexes’ perceptions of each other. Women think men (on the most part) have the emotional intelligence of a kindergartener and men think that women (all of them) have the emotional inconsistency of a schizophrenic.

Ladies first.

In this dangerous, lawless and unforgiving world of dating there is no scarier a person than the girlfriend. She’s an ever-shifting maze of amazement, excitement, fear, loathing, needs, tears, smiles, I want you, get away from me, hold me, don’t touch me walls and walkways men are meant to navigate.  It’s insanity - especially when all these emotions can occur within half an hour of each other.

Being the stupidly simple being – emphasis on stupid – that the man is, he cannot understand this women creature. To him she seems to have lost touch with reality.

Here’s an example. This is not true for all women, only most. I’m sure many a man has been in this position. You “hit if off” with a lady-friend and a sexual tension begins to build (even if that tension is only in the man’s  pants). But beyond your sexual attraction the man doesn’t want to date. So, as a gentleman, and most men aren’t, he tells her that hey, let’s just have some fun, I’m not in a space where I can have a relationship. Somehow she’s “on the same tip” and agrees on said fun.

So the dirty deed gets done and since he never promised to call her, he doesn’t. Next thing she’s telling people he used her and she’s leaving him hate mail.

Oh, but why?

I have recently discovered in conversations with my feminine friends that they don’t mean what they say. When a woman agrees to sleep with a man she is allowing him to “invade” a very private part of her. In return she hopes that you reciprocate her intimacy and stick around to get to know her, or at the (very) least that you don’t think she’s a slut. (By not calling afterwards she thinks that you think she’s a slut).

 But this leaves the man thinking that this woman is crazy because they both agreed that this was “just fun”. She must be mad, right? Right. And wrong. From a male perspective she has clearly lost it – zimshiyile. But if you take the time to know women (not understand because you’re not wired to as a man) you’ll start to see the error of (your) ways.

Men, on the other hand, consider themselves beings of supreme simplicity.  They want power, women and to do whatever the devil they wish without having to consider the consequence. The end.

But using the example above women cannot understand the emotional shallowness of a person who can just sleep with some and that’s the end of that. This wasn’t a high-five, guys.

Men’s ability to separate emotions and sex is a myth to women. It’s an excuse, as I’ve mentioned before.

But this is not the only instance of men’s emotional shortcomings.

Men only have to remember every time they’ve found themselves in the dog-box not knowing how or why to realize just how often they’ve been emotionally clueless to a situation. In this moment her being upset is aggravated by your utter stupidity and ignorance to the real matter – how she feels about it.

How could you not know? Well, you’ll never know if you keep looking at it with your “I’ll fix, what’s the logic” male mentality. Women are not men. They are physical manifestations of feelings.

This is why women want a “sensitive” guy. They don’t necessarily want a guy who’ll weep with them during a Kevin Costner flick. They want a guy who “understands” them emotionally. It doesn’t require you to be less of a manly-man and takes nothing away from your masculinity.

Essentially, it’s not about understanding as much as it is acceptance between the sexes. At best, Mr. & Mrs. Right are the people whose insanity and retarded-ness you can accept because they accept yours.