Why the hell do you not want to get married? Why is modern society eroding this glorious institution away so blatantly and uncaringly? You are more likely to be invited to three times as many baby showers (pronounced "reasons to drink") as you are to be invited to bridal showers or bachelor parties (pronounced "reasons to get drunk").
You there, Empty Kleenex Box, what's your story? Your heart has been broken so many times it looks like a dodgy Picasso piece. One after the other, they just take a piece of you to the point where you think you have nothing to offer, for better for worse. So you've decided not to get married because you can't take the potential heartache. Unless you are going to monk it in Tibet, i would be right in assuming that you are still going to date, or dabble, at least. So, instead of having your heart broken by one person your whole life, you'd rather get a group discount and take a chance with the masses? Clearly common sense is not your mother tongue.
Oi, you, We've Been Together For Long Time It's Practically Marriage. A great man once said, "a Chrysler 300 looks like a Rolls-Royce Phantom, until a Rolls-Royce Phantom pulls up next to a Chrysler 300". It is NOT the same thing. You tick the "Cohabiting" box and you also have joint accounts, which she blazes happily. Somehow you think that's marriage sans the misery, but you also stalling because you've seen something in the relationship that you know is a mustard seed to a forest of problems that would plague your white picket fence. I now pronounce you "a couple".
Oh, yes, poor Shackles From The Past. Can't find a decent working marriage anywhere. No one in your family is happily after-ing anything. Your parents split and left you in pieces. Therapy goes in the monthly budget. The thought of going through that again makes you nauseas. You've vowed to put your happiness for any human (including you). You dream of confetti and streamers yet you bolt at the first sight of a guy going down on one knee (to tie his shoe). The real and present misery of singledom far more tolerable than the imaginary, maybe maybe not, misery of throwing the bouquet. So you always the one wanting a singles night out, except…you the only single.
What? Me? Me, what? Why don't I want to get married? Why the hell would I want to do that? Really now, seriously, why? When was it decided that all human obligated to get married? Let's put the Holy water hip flask away and come to terms with the fact a lot of the notion of marriage is based on religion. The majority of us called ourselves Christians, it's a default setting. But how many of are actually practicing it? Be honest. So if we take out the religion side of it, why should I get married? So people know that I'm taken? Same way doctors HAVE to walk around the streets with their stethoscopes so that people KNOW that they are doctors, right? I've seen many mac with their ring-fingers blinging. Can we please cut the bull of confusing a wedding with marriage, that's just annoying. How wrong is it to just want to BE with the person you love? What I find strange is that a lot of the whole marriage deal is mostly for other people. Some totally dread having one sexual partner their whole lives. Many fear the point where they might get groused out by how their person chews. But most do not fear commitment, no, most fear being unhappy. I may be be wrong, I may be sadly mistaken, but I dare anyone to put marriage over love.
Words: Vus Photography: Khumbelo Makungo
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The idea of marriage/wedding - the reason i put the word together is because some people don't know the difference between the two. Women [im generalizing here] love the idea of weddings and marriage because to them it means commitment. Now question is wasn't i committed before we got married and whats gonna keep me committed after we get married?
Maybe I'm just cynical but I'm just not seeing this whole thing. I struggle to find a reason that is based on the actual TWO people involved as opposed to doing it as an expected, societal obligation
I have been thinking over this for sometime(also talking about it over many a lunch times).I suspect that ladies attach more value to public displays of Commitment then they do to the private(just us) kind. So Marriage/weddings are a "You love me for life?prove it! tell and show everyone" kind of a deal??? I maybe wrong.........where the ladies @
I think Weddings are "Bitches Must Know" kinda thing to females ...
KWAKAKAKAKA @ "Bitches Must Know"
Dee you are righ, WHERE ARE THE LADIES on this
lol @ "Bitches Must Know"
personally i wanna get married but what i dont want is the "Bitches Must Know" ceremony. i want a small thing where we go and sign and then maybe have a lil braainyana to celebrate. i dont get the notion of wasting money on a two day event especially maybe because somewhere im leaving room for divorce as messed up as that may be. Marriage for me also provides a solid structure for my kids to be born into and for them to take his name.
i'll also be doing it because its expected in my family, my folks are very cultural and strict. Im 25 with a 6 o'clock curfew over weekends so y'all can just imagine that ticking the "Cohabiting" box aint an option for me
I always believe in doing what works for you - because as much as you would do things to please your family is not your family who will be married to Zodwa - you will be. The best thing to do is to try to explain to them what you are trying to do and why. Again these rules differ from person to person and the rules change if you male or female.
Marriage is not only a commitment but its symbolic of family or unity. Thats why friends and family must be there to witness it. Thats how, I assume, most women view it. For women its an important step in life, proof of a significant milestone being reached. For men its an event... And thats why we dont get it. Forget religion, forget everyone else. What is the one way of saying to the woman that you love "you are everything that I need and you complete me in a way that no other human can"? Think about it...
LMAO! @ "Bitches Must Know"
Katlego you have dope point.
The other thing that got me thinking about getting married is, imagine growing old alone...
Nobody wants to end up alone.
'Bitches must know" is the funniest statement on this entire site.
@Katlego. Marriage is not proof of anything. At best its a small sign that you're willing to go the yards. Divorce rates are proof that actually going through with it does not ensure "you are everything that I need anyou complete me in a way that no other human can". At best it just means "I have to do this so I thought I'd do it with you."
Marriage is something that can only be truly evaluated when death doth thee part. So cohabbiting, life-partners or marriage are all just theory until you die. Only then is it real. So weddings, shared bank accounts and kids are just points along the way, they aren't proof for any of these institutions and ideals are "right".
Divorce rates are proof that actually going through with it does not ensure "you are everything that I need anyou complete me in a way that no other human can". At best it just means "I have to do this so I thought I'd do it with you."
- this is true