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Vus
VUS.ISM: LADIES, DON'T BREAK YOUR OWN HEART
11H19 THURSDAY, 22 DECEMBER 2011
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My dear, dear beautiful sisters, what is up with some of you thinking that they are the only one's that have hearts that break? Like the kingdom of heartache was for them and those like them. I recently came across this Facebook status: "Cheating on a girl is deeper than what most guys realise...I mean it destroys her outlook on love which messes up most of her future relationships..it spoils any peace within her soul as she will always have insecure tendencies..and worst of all..her female children will grow up not trusting men as she will tell them that all men cheat...Hit the "like" button to say NO to cheating!!"

II know that this what ONE person said and is not true for everyone. But there's countless variations of the same sentiment everywhere in social media. Have women really become that complacent in their victim-hood. Are they honestly that self-centred that they believe they hold the title-deed to emotional turmoil? These are not rhetorical questions.

We live in a society that gives women the platform to be comfortable with ALL their emotions. Sadness, grief and general emotions deemed to feminine or weak. These are emotions that have seemingly been bestowed upon women. Men are on the other hand are limited to the number of "public" emotions that society deems appropriate. Women seem to have forgotten this. No, I'm wrong, (some) women have blatantly, consciously disregarded this. Instead they have come to believe that the lack of emotional display is proof of mens' inherent heartlessness.

It's an open secret that women are their own worst enemies. For every woman who says men are liars, there's a woman who new the truth but chose to ignore it. She knew she was the other woman, but figured she needed his love, money, sex or whatever. She knew her man was lying but chose to hold it together.

(Some) Women have become so used to giving away their power that they seemingly expect to, eventually, find themselves as emotional wrecks. Some are suffering by association. They have not encountered some of the things that they so readily snap their fingers and wiggle their necks at. There's nothing like seeing a group of woman chattering in agreement on the subject of "men dogs", only to find that only one is talking from experience and the rest are doing it out of habit. The ring leader who's broken and twisted because of own messed up relationships, Pied Piper-ing the rest into paranoid oblivion.

Ladies, men were not created by Satan to harm you. Some men will hurt you, some won't. Men are not the root of you problems. What annoys me is when a woman has lost all her self-respect and dignity and spends a lot of time on her back or knees, then she says its because men turned her into that. Chick please, if you are a slut you are one by choice. A man cannot turn you into something you do not want to be. You may be hurt and scared but you actions are you own.

Saying that the fact that you have been cheated on will affect the way you raise your daughter is a valid point. But, if you are teaching your daughter about the inevitable heartbreak that will most surely be caused by a man, what are you going to teach your son? To never ever break a woman's heart? How about teaching your daughter to be a strong individual who's aware of her insecurities (lest they put her permanently on her back). How about teaching your son to strive to be the best he can be instead of forcing him to be a night in shining armour.

It's YOUR heart, it's YOUR responsibility. Many, many men are walking around with broken hearts. Sometimes, you can't control who's going to hurt you. But what happens subsequently is totally you responsibility.

Words: Vus

Photography:Lebogang Nkoane

See all posts by Vus here

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06 Comments  
  1. When you look at the image is says to me - brothers have love for each other and while sisters dont. *hides

  2. +
    Blaq_Phat_Sista
    6 YEARS AGO

    lol @ G

  3. +
    Dee
    6 YEARS AGO

    Nice piece maVusana, as disappointing as it is to think that woman(a large number) see themselves as helpless victims who can not break free of the cycle of hurt. That is precisely how they see themselves, and they refuse to see it otherwise no matter how much we wish they would. In short maVusana you are an optimist!!!

  4. http://studio83.co.za/news/2010/02/15/1618?msg=edited

  5. +
    matomeb
    6 YEARS AGO

    I like this piece, a lot. It articulates a lot of my frustrations regarding how (some) women give up their power senselessly. At the end of it all, regardless of the excuses as to why it is so, its a choice. A choice. Get your power back!

  6. +
    Homebethe
    6 MONTHS AGO

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