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Vus
VUS.ISM: F* IS FOR FACEBOOK
11H15 THURSDAY, 26 JANUARY 2012
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Greetings fame. Trusting that your Facebook updates are up, statuses Liked and comments flowing nicely. Today I want us to break bread on our favourite pastime, no scratch that, Facebook is not a pastime anymore, it has become a human condition for our generation. There's two aspects I want to look at, namely; is/should there be such a thing as Facebook etiquette and; imagine if Facebook was a planet. Humour me on this one.

F OFF MY FB
Now, I think we can all agree that your Facebook profile is basically, well, YOURS. Like you can do/say whatever you want on it, right? But the thing is that even though you typed about your emotional state in the safety of your bed, I read it while taking a dump. Or I was nicely liquored up at a friends place. None of these situations are conducive of a response tactful enough to be of any use to you.

My point is that Facebook blurs the line between privacy and publicity. But it is essentially a public space. Consequently, in the real world there is a certain social decorum that we, willingly or not, do follow. Really basic things like don't bump into people when you walk or don't be walk around in your underwear or don't stop strangers in the street to tell how horrible your boyfriend is. Get my drift? Yet, seemingly on Facebook the modus operandi is "screw my privacy, I'll tell you what I want but f off my business". I is for irony.

So if Facebook is indeed a space that me and you share, should there be a level of standardized behavior? Something akin to sharing a house with someone. Or is it really screw everyone (in this house)?

PLANET FB
Personally, I approach Facebook as a real life space. Like I wouldn't post anything there that I would be ashamed of in real life. Or say something I would mind people knowing about (insert name of American politician destroyed by his twitter post). Let me show you what I mean. Like-ing your own status is like touching yourself in public. There is a profile pic full of breast and bra complaining about how men are perverts. Would you a walk around bust and bra in public? If you did, would you complain about the stares you get? I'll give you a minute.

My pet peeve are the emo members of the congregation. Poor sods who sincerely believe Dr. Phil sits around at 2:30am in his drawers prowling the interwebs looking for people who have emotional issues. If this were planet Facebook you'd be assed out on the pavement balling your eyes out in the dead of night. Do you know the kind people who are roam the streets at 2:30am? Would you cry on their shoulder? Last year sometime I once saw a suicidal status update that was "Liked" by 12 people.

On Planet Facebook, Sundays will see many ordinary citizens magically transform in priests and many holy deities. Church pulpits will have more people than the actual congregation. Don't even get me started on the bumping into people who randomly walking around and *singing*. Ahem. Some people would be having the "most epic" parties and you are "soooo drunk". Only thing is, in Planet FB, there are no walls and we see you sitting in front of the tv by yourself.

I am really not saying there is a right or wrong way of interacting with FB. All I am saying is that Micheal Jackson was right, you are not alone. I mean that in a good way and in a very, very scary way.

Words: Vus / @JustVus

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04 Comments  
  1. +
    Katlego Modipane
    6 YEARS AGO

    People are abusing social media now. They see it as a tool to boast or express their darkest thoughts. They dont realise that their darkest thoughts should be locked away and never be thought of again. But then again, if we cant share with your "friends" who can you share with?

  2. +
    Vus
    6 YEARS AGO

    lol yah neh, u right

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